Why Can't I See the Wind? Is It Made of Ghosts?

David Rees, who created the amazing “Get Your War On” cartoons, wants you to send eco-stumper questions to him at his blog so he can forward them to Steven Chu, the Secretary of Energy.

Rees is inspired by the exchange this week between Rep. Joe Barton of Texas and the Nobel Prize winning Dr. Chu, in which Barton asked a question he obviously hoped Chu would have trouble with: “How did all the oil and gas get to Alaska?”

Chu, clearly amused, played along and tried to give an answer within the time allowed:

Barton: You’re our scientist. I have one simple question for you in the last six seconds. How did all the oil and gas get to Alaska and under the Arctic Ocean?

Chu: (laughs) This is a complicated story, but oil and gas is the result of hundreds of millions of years of geology, and in that time also the plates have moved around, and so, um, it’s the combination of where the sources of the oil and gas are–

Barton: But, but wouldn’t it obvious that at one time it was a lot warmer in Alaska and on the North Pole. It wasn’t a big pipeline that we created in Texas and shipped it up there and then put it under ground so that we can now pump it out and ship it back.

Chu: No. There are–there’s continental plates that have been drifting around throughout the geological ages–

Barton: So it just drifted up there?

Chu: That’s certainly what happened. And so it’s a result of things like that.

Incredibly, Barton came away from the exchange thinking he had bested Chu, rather than revealing that he himself is an unalloyed imbecile.  He posted video of the exchange on YouTube and posted this on Twitter:

“I seemed [sic]to have baffled the Energy Sec with basic question – Where does oil come from?”

Well, Congressman, this link breaks it down, pretty much the same way Dr. Chu explained it.

So, David Rees wants you to send him other eco-stumpers that he can forward to the Energy Secretary, although I think he should send them to Rep. Barton so he can continue to delight and amuse the nation.  Some of Rees’s own eco-stumpers:

“Why can’t I see the wind? Is it made of ghosts?”

“How did all that water get in the ocean?”

“If global warming is so real, how come I had never heard of it until people started talking about it?”

I submitted my own stumper for Rep. Barton to ask his next scientific witness: “Why is it that human feces and the shoe care product Shinola are indistinguishable from one another?”

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Auto-Tune the News

I’m going to install this chip in my brain and make my entire existence sound like this:

Here’s another one: Auto-Tune the News -  Pirates, Drugs, Gay Marriage

(hat tip: Boing Boing)

Posted in funny | 1 Comment

Dangerpuss: "Permanent Fatal Errors"

Norm Saunders "Ten Story Detective" (1938)

Another song from Dangerpuss:

Ah, the bombastic rock instrumental.

Click the link to play a song or right-click and select “Save Link As…” to download: Permanent Fatal Errors (7.2 MB MP3)

The guests:

Duane Denison (the Jesus Lizard, Legendary Shack Shakers, Tomahawk)

James Sardone (Brickbat, Jimmy Nations Combo, Clawhammer Quartette)

Mac McNeilly (the Jesus Lizard, 86)

Click here or the Dangerpuss link at the top of the page for the MP3 archive.

Posted in Dangerpuss, music | 5 Comments

Record Store Day

Tomorrow is Record Store Day, so go out and show some love for the vinyl jobbers.  Touch & Go is releasing a limited edition pack of nine 7″ singles by the Jesus Lizard.  I tried to take some pictures to show what an amazing package this is, but I’m not a very good photographer.  It’s in a cool plastic liner that folds out so all the singles hang in a grid like a big poster.  I’m not a very good writer, either.  Trust me, it’s amazing, and there’s only 2,000 of them, so you might want to head out the door right now with your sleeping bag and camp out on the sidewalk for yours.

Inch 7" Single Pack

The pack includes:

  • Chrome b/w 7 vs. 8
  • Mouth Breather b/w Sunday You Need Love
  • Puss (our half of the Nirvana split single)
  • Wheelchair Epidemic b/w Dancing Naked Ladies (very different than the album version)
  • Gladiator b/w Seasick (live in London)
  • Glamorous b/w Deaf as a Bat (live in Chicago)(first disk of “Lash” EP)
  • Lady Shoes b/w Killer McHann (live in Boston)(second disk of “Lash” EP)
  • Bloody Mary b/w Monkey Trick (live in London)(third disk of “Lash” EP)
  • (Fly) On (the Wall) b/w White Hole
Posted in the Jesus Lizard | 13 Comments

Duane Denison's New Guitar [UPDATED]

(I added a new photo which has the fretboard inlays.)

This is the all-aluminum guitar Kevin Burkett at Electrical Guitar Company is building for Duane.  It has a semi-hollow body, which Duane likes for the added resonance, and looks like a cross between a Gibson ES-335 and the Travis Beans he played in the early days of the Jesus Lizard.  The pickups are Gibson Burstbuckers, modelled after the old Gibson PAFs,  and the tremolo bar is a Bigsby.  The neck pitch and action are modeled on Gibson-style setup.

No trees were harmed in the manufacture of this guitar.  Me like.

Duane's New Guitar

Duane's New Guitar 2

Posted in pictures, the Jesus Lizard | 14 Comments

Finally, Someone Explains Second Base to Me

I have to admit, I never understood how the whole base system of sexual accomplishment worked, except I’m pretty sure I know what home base was.  I’ve learned so much from xkcd, and now this:

Base System - xkcd

From xkcd.com.

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Carrying Gunpowder through Airport Security

Ever wondered if you can carry gunpowder onto an airplane?  Me, too.  Turns out you can.  It’s even easy.  Bamboo flutes are a little iffy, as well they should be.

Wild Bee: Carrying Gunpowder through Airport Security

TSA logo

(hat tip: Schneier on Security)

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Erwin Wurm's Fat Cars

One of the best things about living in NYC is not having to own a car, but if I did own one, I want it to be a honkin’ fat one, like these by Erwin Wurm.


fat-car-3

fat-car-3

fat-car-3

fat-car-3

(hat tip: Geekologie)

Posted in pictures | 4 Comments

Dangerpuss: "Snow Angel"

Bleu Bish

Another song from Dangerpuss:

Click the link to play a song or right-click and select “Save Link As…” to download: Snow Angel (8.7 MB MP3)

The guests:

Duane Denison (the Jesus Lizard, Legendary Shack Shakers, Tomahawk)

Jason Wolford (Teledubgnosis, Machmen)

Click here or the Dangerpuss link at the top of the page for the MP3 archive.

Posted in Dangerpuss, music | 3 Comments

Tourist Scams

europeanvacation2

The Rick Steves web site has a collection of tourist scam stories.  Some are pretty clever.

My husband and I arrived at Paris’ Gare du Nord train station in the early evening, and proceeded to read the map to find out how to get to our hotel via the Métro. One guy came up and advised us to buy tickets from the ticket machine. When we were at the machine trying to read the French, another guy came out and “helped” us to buy tickets. Later, what was supposed to be a three-day ticket turned out to be a one-way, single-use ticket. We paid him €48, the price shown on the ticket machine, but he must have cancelled the transaction and bought us the single-trip ticket instead.

(hat tip: Schneier on Security)

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Pretty Loaded

Big Spaceship curates Pretty Loaded, a museum of the little animations that are supposed to keep you amused while your computer is doing its thing.  I’ve always found loaders annoying, so I was surprised at how mesmerizing it is to look at dozens of them at a time.  This is so much better than doing something useful.

Pretty Loaded

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Dangerpuss on "The Watt from Pedro Show"

Mike Watt made my Sunday by playing the Dangerpuss song “These Boots Are Made for Knockin’” on his excellent radio show.  This is my first sighting of a Dangerpuss song in the wild, and I couldn’t be prouder.  Don’t get me wrong; I love all my Dangerpuss songs equally, but this is TBAMFK’s night, and we’re going out for pizza!  The other Dangerpuss songs will stay home and, perhaps, consider what more they could have done to show they love me.

The Watt from Pedro Show

Posted in Dangerpuss | 1 Comment

Modular Robot Reassembles Self When Kicked Apart

And I for one salute our new robot overlords!

I can’t exactly say why, but something about this reminds me of a night out with David Yow.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Dangerpuss: "These Boots Are Made for Knockin'"

Angel's Gate Lighthouse

Another song from Dangerpuss:

Duane gives a lesson on jazzy noodling.

The form and tonality here are nothing new: sixteen bars in Dm Dorian mode, up a half-step to Ebm for eight bars, and then back to Dm for eight bars. Miles Davis used it on “So What” and Coltrane used it for “Impressions.” So, you could say this is my contribution to the canon of American jazz giants. You could say that, and then your friends would laugh at you, and it would serve you right. Dude, seriously, stop saying stuff like that. You’re embarrassing both of us.

Click the link to play a song or right-click and select “Save Link As…” to download: These Boots Are Made for Knockin’ (11.0 MB MP3)

The guests:

Duane Denison (the Jesus Lizard, Legendary Shack Shakers, Tomahawk)

James Sardone (Brickbat, Jimmy Nations Combo, Clawhammer Quartette)

Frank Heer (Melomane, Bingo Palace)

Mac McNeilly (the Jesus Lizard, 86)

Click here or the Dangerpuss link at the top of the page for the MP3 archive.

(Photo: Mike Watt)

Posted in Dangerpuss, music | 1 Comment

We Miss Cheney.

Dick Cheney

Hart Seely at Slate gives a preview of the man’s memoirs:

“We want to see the minutes of your energy-policy meetings,” she barked, her snotty, liberal leftist nose high in the air. “We want to know the lobbyists you’ve met with.” I just stared through her. “Listen, missy,” I replied. “You’re not fooling me. You’re trying to find out what we’re doing, so you can tell everybody, and that’s not going to happen!”

Mark my words: There will be another terrorist attack. Thousands will die. Millions will suffer. When it happens, America will see at last that we were right. History will vindicate us, and we’ll receive the respect we rightfully deserve. Not that I would ever want that, of course.

The other day, as Lynne and I watched a storm approaching over the horizon, we pondered the incredible journey that has been our lives. Until that moment, I never realized how much Dubai looks like old Wyoming.

This reminded me of the transcript of playing poker with Cheney that came out a few years ago. I had to dig around the internets to track it down, and I’m still not sure who wrote it, but it’s beautiful:

The Editors: We’ll take three cards.

Dick Cheney: Give me one.

Sounds of cards being placed down, dealt, retrieved, and rearranged in hand. Non-committal noises, puffing of cigars.

TE: Fifty bucks.

DC: I’m in. Show ‘em.

TE: Two pair, sevens and fives.

DC: Not good enough.

TE: What do you have?

DC: Better than that, that’s for sure. Pay up.

TE: Can you show us your cards?

DC: Sure. One of them’s a six.

TE: You need to show all your cards. That’s the way the game is played.

Colin Powell: Ladies and gentlemen. We have accumulated overwhelming evidence that Mr. Cheney’s poker hand is far, far better than two pair. Note this satellite photo, taken three minutes ago when The Editors went to get more chips. In it we clearly see the back sides of five playing cards, arranged in a poker hand. Defector reports have assured us that Mr. Cheney’s hand was already well advanced at this stage. Later, Mr. Cheney drew only one card. Why only one card? Would a man without a strong hand choose only one card? We are absolutely convinced that Mr. Cheney has at least a full house.

Tim Russert: Wow. Colin Powell really hit a homerun for the Administration right there. A very powerful performance. My dad played a lot of poker in World War 2, and he taught me many things about life. Read my book.

TE: He’s extremely good at Power Point. But we would like to see the cards, or else we can’t really be sure he has anything to beat two pair. We don’t think he would lie to us, but … well, it is a very rich pot.

Jonah Goldberg: Liberal critics of Mr. Cheney’s poker hand contend that “he doesn’t have anything”. Oh, really, liberal critics? Cheney has already showed them the six of clubs, and yet these liberals persist in saying he has “nothing”. Why do liberals consider the six of clubs to be “nothing”? Is it because the six of clubs is black?

Continue reading

Posted in funny | 2 Comments

Crunks 2008: The Year in Media Errors and Corrections

Craig Silverman’s blog, Regret the Error, has a nice roundup of 2008 media corrections and errors:

National Post (Canada):

There is no documented evidence to suggest dance poles sold at Condom Shack cannot bear the weight of a user. An unsubstantiated claim appeared in a Post Homes feature on Saturday.

Daily Star (UK):

OUR article last Tuesday headed “It’s Sven Giggle Eriksson” pictured Mr Eriksson in a hotel restaurant with a young lady. We wrongly assumed that the lady was an admirer and suggested that he was fondling her. In fact the lady was Lina, Mr Eriksson’s daughter, with whom he was having a normal fatherly embrace. We apologise to Mr Eriksson and his daughter for the embarrassment and distress caused by the publication of the photographs and incorrect assumptions made about them.

[From the Daily Mail (UK)] In articles published on 23 and 26 May 2008, we gave the impression that Mr Gest had contracted a sexually transmitted infection and alleged that he had Liza Minnelli’s dog killed without her knowledge. This was wrong. David Gest has never had a sexually transmitted infection and did not have Ms Minnelli’s dog killed. We apologise to Mr Gest for any embarrassment caused.

Toronto Sun:

A photo on Pg. 5 in the Friday edition identified fraud victim Richard Rand as the man guilty of 190 counts of fraud. The Sun apologizes to Mr. Rand for any embarrassment this may have caused.

Toronto Sun:

On page 14 yesterday, the Sun mistakenly identified Margherita Gervasi as a stripper. She is a waitress and bartender. The Sun regrets the error.

Ottawa Sun:

David Hoe was misidentified as a former sex worker in a Sept. 19 article in the Sun. The Sun regrets the error.

Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Bob Fredrick, a clinical social worker and therapist in Atlanta, is not a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. A story in the Sunday Living section had incorrect information, including a misspelling of his name.

Rocky Mountain News:

One of the items on this list has been removed because it mistakenly repeated a report that Barack Obama holds dual United States-Kenyan citizenship.

Read the whole thing here.

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Dixon E. Coulbourn Photo Archive

Scratch Acid

Check out the archive of photos by Dixon E. Coulbourn from the early days of the Austin punk rock scene.  Dixon put out the fanzine Idle Time, and took thousands of pictures of the Butthole Surfers, Dicks, Big Boys, Offenders, Scratch Acid, and Toxic Shock (David Yow’s pre-Scratch Acid band, in which he played bass), plus acts that came through Texas on tour, like Black Flag, the Psychedelic Furs, the Stranglers, and Minor Threat.  Dixon died in 2005 and the site is administered by friends.  There are some unfortunate broken links, most notably his list of every show he saw from 1977 to 1986, which is undoubtedly an amazing list.

Idle Time photo archive

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Boris Artzybasheff

borisartzybasheff61

Rob Warmoski, wrangler of the excellent blog RW370, has started an Facebook appreciation society for illustrator Boris Artzybasheff which he calls, cunningly, the Boris Artzybasheff Appreciation Society.  Artzybasheff’s bizarre anthropomorphism is crazy, wonderful stuff.  Click the thumbnails for samples:

American Art Archives and the AFISA-Hollywood Animation Archive also have galleries:

American Art Archives – Boris Artzybasheff gallery

AFISA-Hollywood Animation Archive – Diablerie

AFISA-Hollywood Animation Archive – Machinalia

AFISA-Hollywood Animation Archive – Neurotica

In other news, if you type “Warmoski” into the WordPress editor, the autocorrect feature suggests warmonger, warmish, warmness, and marmoset as alternative spellings, which works, because I’m pretty sure Rob Warmowski is all of those things.  I think I’m on the verge to a great idea here, like that game where you figure out your porn star name, but more Web 2.0ish, which is what the kids like these days.  If you type in “Sims,” autocorrect has no suggestions, perhaps alluding to the gaping chasm where my soul should be.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

the Jesus Lizard: 1991 Peel Session

tjl_promo_springs

A few weeks ago, Chunklet posted these MP3s of a 1991 Peel Session by the Jesus Lizard, and I’m passing them along.   The session was produced by Dale Griffin, the drummer from Mott the Hoople.  After we recorded the basic tracks, we tromped into the control room to have a listen and Mr. Griffin said “It’s certainly not music for pussies, is it?”  Until that point, I had not known that English folk use the word “pussies.”

I’m not sure who owns the right to these, but I’m pretty sure it’s not some dude on the internets named Chunklet.  They’re BBC Radio One recordings, which probably means they’re owned by the Queen of England, who is also, as it happens, the Queen of Australia, which means she’s smoking hot as well as an irredeemable drunkard.  She’s also the Queen of Canada, which means she’s an irredeemable drunkard as well as a smoking hot murderous robot.  Oh, Queen of Jamaica, too, so she’s completely stoned every waking minute of every single day.  So, Your Royal Drunken Stoner Cylon Smoking Hot Highness, thanks for the jams.

Click a song title to play a song or right-click and select “Save Link As…” to download.

Wheelchair Epidemic (2.2 MB MP3)

Bloody Mary (1.9 MB MP3)

Seasick (3.0 MB MP3)

Monkey Trick (6.0 MB MP3)

Posted in music, the Jesus Lizard | 6 Comments

Mr. Yow Keeps in Fighting Trim [UPDATED]

(Thanks, Chooch, for the edit and music!)

Damn, he makes it look so easy.

Posted in funny, the Jesus Lizard | 4 Comments