September 22, 2009
the Jesus Lizard
A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie is stained, his face is smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin is sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opens a newspaper and begins reading.
After a few minutes the guy turns to the priest and asks, ‘Say, Father, what causes arthritis?’
‘Loose living; cheap, wicked woman; too much alcohol; and contempt for your fellow man, ‘answers the priest.
‘ I’ll be damned, ‘the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he said, nudges the man and apologises.’ I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. How long have you had arthritis?’
‘Oh, I don’t have it, Father. But it says here that the Pope does.’